Men’s Mental Illness

men's mental illness

Men’s Mental Illness

Hi, welcome to Gma’sPhoto! This post was inspired by our trip to St. Joseph, MO for our summer party fireworks purchase. On our drive, we always stop into one particular Chinese restaurant. It was here, in May 2011 our journey with men’s mental illness began. I call it our dark days.

Thank God, I am being totally sincere. Not at all saying HIS name in vain. We are out of the dark (as long as our son is taking his meds). Occasionally, there may be a cloudy day, metaphorically. For this I am very grateful.

I want to share our experience as parents of a young male adult child at his onset of mental illness. I had felt like I missed something when he was growing up. The what if’s consumed me. This is the beginning of our story, Kevin and Debra’s story.

men's mental illness
One of my favorite photos with me and Adam.

Telling the story now, I have the hindsight. Just wish what I know now, I had known earlier when Adam was still in middle and high school. Adam tended to be more emotional than our daughter. While Adam was in his senior year in high school he worked on the senior slide show for the class graduation. Adam and a couple other guys were part of the group. One of Adam’s comments was that this other kid was getting all the credit. He mentioned it several different times. According to Adam, Adam was doing most of the work. Okay, nothing too unordinary right? On with my story.

Graduation comes and goes. Summertime is here. Adam was getting nose bleeds. Not too uncommon, especially when he experiences allergies. He goes off to college. All is going great. His grades are better than when he was in high school. He was able to focus on his interest, arts. First year of college was fabulous. Summer rolled around. Adam wanted to live in Lawrence for the summer. Grandma and Grandpa said it was okay that he stay with them, with conditions. Those conditions were he could not smoke, do drugs and stay out late. No problem.

Age of onset of mental disorders. Roughly half of all lifetime mental disorders in most studies start by the mid-teens and three quarters by the mid-20s. Later onsets are mostly secondary conditions. Severe disorders are typically preceded by less severe disorders that are seldom brought to clinical attention.”

source one

Our son was graduating from community college May 2011. We were proud, are still proud parents. We invited family to attend the ceremony and after for dinner to celebrate. Kevin and I had drove North to Hiawatha where Adam attended community college. When we got there, Adam was no where to be found. One of his roommates said he had already left. We were confused. We called Adam and he said he did not want to go to graduation. He was driving back to Lawrence to my parents home where he was going to stay for the summer.

We called Kevin’s parents, Kevin’s sister and her husband, our daughter and her family. My parents already knew so we did not need to call them. Luckily no one else drove the whole way to the graduation. We had them meet us at the Chinese resturaunt. What an evening.

During the summer Adam became more paranoid. My parents had Adam go to the doctor office for drug tests, on more than one occasion. Each were random. Every time the tests would come back negative. One night Adam’s behavior was such that my parents called the police. Adam was taken to the hospital. Erika had gone to the hospital to be with Adam. Upon his release from hospital, Kevin and I had to acknowledge we would be responsible for Adam and that he would be in our care. This is when we observed his behaviors we only heard of from my parents.

Adam had many different behaviors. More than I can recall. Just that his behavior was not right. Adam did tell us he had been taking drugs and knew which ones helped him to concentrate and stay focused. Adam’s doctor is the same doctor I went to and the one my parents went to. This was a major factor in the help we received for Adam. Kevin and I went to this doctor. The doctor said drugs was not the concern at this time, it was his mental state. A few recommendations for the best doctor for Adam were given to us.

Adam began his treatment. I had previously sought legal advice about guardianship. The attorney asked if we had doctor statement that this would be in Adam’s best interest. At this time we did not have this and the attorney said it would be very hard to get guardianship granted.

Eventually, Adam had a ‘team’ that consisted of his Case Worker and therapist. Adam made a few poor decisions that resulted in his therapist to refer Adam to a psychologist. The psychologist (Dr.J) did an intensive session with Adam and ultimately she provided a letter stating it would be in Adam’s best interest to have a guardian. Once we had her letter, the family doctor also wrote a letter supporting the guardianship. Adam’s therapist wrote her letter supporting guardianship. The psychologist (Dr.E) who prescribes Adam’s medicines wrote his supporting letter. With the four letters Kevin and I hired a family law attorney. We are now Adam’s Co-conservator, Co-Guardians.

This story is not complete, however this is where I will end my post. Eventually I will return with more of the story. I wanted to share in case someone else may be going through a similar struggle. If so and you have questions, I would be willing to go more in depth with you in a one to one conversation. Send me a message using my contact form.

Take Care. Best wishes, Debra
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Fish Fry

fish fry

Fish Fry | My Sunday Snapshot 18

Hi, welcome to My Sunday Snapshot 18. We had an invite to go to a fish fry. Kevin’s friend, Ed, called last week and extended the invitation. Kevin and Ed have been friends since their high school days. Ed’s large extended family celebrated several graduates, birthdays and an anniversary. Lots of family and friends, food and fish! The fish was excellent.

pathway to outhouse
The pathway that leads to the outhouse.

The gathering was held outside, quite the distance from the main house. Ed had his uncle build this luxury commodity. Much better than finding a ‘tree’.

brand new outhouse
Brand new outhouse.

In case you were wondering about the truck; the blue barrel filled with water, had a faucet that could be turned on or off. A bar of soap is to the left of the barrel.

the distant view

On the walk back to the fish fry, this was the view of the pond.

In short, I never have liked using an ‘outhouse’. I have always cringed at needing to use one. This time the experience was somewhat ‘pleasant’. Very unexpected 🙂

Have a wonderful week!

Take Care. Best wishes, Debra
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my Sunday snapshot

Pictures can produce so many different emotions and feelings. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words! Share your fun and interesting image from the past week.

My Sunday Snapshot 18

kindess

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Party Etiquette

party etiquette

Party Etiquette

party etiquitte

Hi, welcome to the topic of Party Etiquette. I was thinking about parties with May having so many graduations. Summer holidays just around the corner. And of course, June is the month for weddings. For the online social bloggers, we have linkup parties! 🙂

Have you ever wondered how to behave? What you should or should not say? Below are party tips to make you the best guest, one who is always welcome to social gatherings.

RSVP let the host know if you will be attending or not.

Be On Time or 10 to 15 minutes after the start time. The host will most likely be doing last minute decorating.

Mingle visit everyone do not dominate a select few.

Be Present Keep the cell phone tucked away.

Engage actively take part in conversations. Look people in the eye when you speak with them.

Enjoy Yourself smile, do not stand in a corner.

Exit Graciously notice when guests begin to leave. The host provided an invite with start and end times. Be courteous and not overstay the welcome.

Say Thanks. The host took the time to plan a get together. Let the host know that you enjoyed the party and thank them for inviting you.

You may wonder with modern times post COVID, what are tips for the online social gatherings. I can think of two different types: family / friends via Zoom or some such platform and Link Up parties for the blogging sphere.

Zoom wouldn’t be too much different then in person physically. Even though we wouldn’t leave the comfort of our home, we are still attending in person.

The link up parties are totally virtual. Be present, mingle, enjoy yourself, say thanks. When doing these, we just need to make a few adjustments.

Be present. Make a list of the parties you wish to follow on what days. Use the InLinkz directory to search for desired parties to attend. Follow your routine on a regular basis.

Mingle and participate. Read the host guideline for the party. For each post contributed, visit one in return. Leave a brief comment.

Enjoy yourself. When visiting other links, notice what you like about the website. Even consider what is least liked. When reviewing your own website/blog look for these traits and make appropriate changes.

Say, ‘Thanks’. For sure, comment on the link party a thank you to the host/hostess. It does take time to create and maintain the link platform. Some even pay for the link service. The best way to say thanks is to acknowledge not just with words but with actions. Visit the host/hostess linked up link and comment there too. This makes for a gracious exit.
kindess

Take Care. Best wishes, Debra
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Gma’sPhoto | ge•ner•ic Linkup Party #34

generic link up party

Gma’sPhoto | ge•ner•ic Linkup Party #34

Hi, welcome to Gma’sPhoto ge•ner•ic Linkup Party #34!

This Party’s Theme is Generic.

Each Friday a new ge•ner•ic Linkup Party will open and end the following Thursday. Link up any family friendly post, health, diy, recipes, home decor, parenting, wordless, crafts, sewing, you get the idea.


Important things to know:

-You may add up to three family friendly blog post links, linked to specific blog posts.
-Please say hi & add your link post number when commenting below.
-Those leaving post entry numbers are eligible to be featured at the next party!
-Be sure to visit other links and leave a kind comment for each link you post.
-Party opens Friday and ends Thursday.
-Thank you for participating. Have fun!

By linking to Gma’sPhoto Party LinkUp, you give permission to share your post and images on Gma’sPhoto blog and social media. Proper credit with a photo and link back will be provided.

Let’s begin the fun at Gma’sPhoto ge•ner•ic Linkup Party #34!

Take Care. Best wishes, Debra
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Summer and Parties Go Together

summer and parties go together

Summer and Parties Go Together

find the toenail
hahahah. Naaah!!

If you take my suggestion, you’ll have to let me know if the game was a success.

Have a wonderful summer!

Take Care. Best wishes, Debra
Gma’s photo

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Toilet Paper | My Sunday Snapshot

toilet paper

My Sunday Snapshot #15

Hi, welcome to My Sunday Snapshot 15!

My Sunday Snapshot was taken during my ‘Happy Birthday Party to Me’ party. This year I turned 60 and celebrating 20 years cancer free (with God’s grace)! What I find amusing, this is not my first post about toilet paper. You can see the first post about TP here.

The image above was placed onto each table as the center piece. I have included the center piece in the image below.

toilet paper center piece
Toilet Paper Cake!

The main table center piece was made with many rolls of toilet paper 🙂 My folks contributed the items added to this cake from their own medicine cabinet! Mom thought it was funny when I asked her to contribute to the cake decorations.

No gifts were requested. What I did request was a selfie with each of my guests. There were many, here are some of the guests I knew wouldn’t mind me sharing.

selfies

I am so grateful and blessed to celebrate my 60 years and that my folks are with me to do so. This was definitely a milestone I will cherish forever. My family and friends made me feel very special.

Thank you for joining in on my celebration!

Have a wonderful week.

Take Care. Best wishes, Debra
Gma’s photo

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my Sunday snapshot

Pictures can produce so many different emotions and feelings. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words! Share your fun and interesting image from the past week.

My Sunday Snapshot 15

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